The story of a insecure woman

I was born in richmond Va, I hada child at a very very young age of 14 and it took its toll on my body, I have always been very insecure about my body always, I cant remember the last time Ifelt confident and secure in myself..in fact I cant remember the last time Iwas able to be intimate and not wear a tee-shirt, and as you canimagine that doesnt make you seem very fun or sponatnious in that department. whenever my my boyfriend would put hi arm around my waiste laying in bed and his hand would get close to my stomach I would always jump or roll over on my back so atleast he wouldnt feel the jiggle untoned belly I carried around.this has haunted me pretty much ever since my early teens, I remember many many times so discusted with my appearance I would dread the thought of taking a shower because I would have to be with myself naked, and I just didnt want to haave to look at myself..not even for a second..My insecurities handycap me and make it next to impossible to lead a normal life, I am 36 years old now..I had hoped to correct this problem long ago but I had financial issues ht wouldnt allow this to happen now or probbaly ever, I lost a great deal of weight recently and it helped a bunch but my body still wasnt corecting itself the way I had hoped, I got a membership to the gym and worked out alot, but still no difference. after trimming away 70 lbs and working out a hour a day for 6 months I am really getting very discouraged, I just want to feel beautifull and completely confident one more time, this surgery would be a dream come true , it would give me the confidence that I have been lacking, it would save me, it would save me in every way a person can be saved.it would give me the chance to be truly happy and complete in every way, it would allow me to love myself so tha eventually I could love again. I suffer from chronic panic disorder and I know its mostly because of my insecurities with my body, I happy when plans get cancelled, it all startswith getting dressed looking for clothes that will fit and comoflauge the imbaressing parts and acsintuate my assets, this task is so nerve racking it doesnt take long before I am in a full blown anxiety attack, I know this would relieve me from this. this surgery truly would save in every way